Attachment and the Gospel

The Deepest Place

by Curt Thompson, MD

Curt Thompson is a psychiatrist, certified by the American Board of Psychiatry and Neurobiology.  He has served in private practice for over 30 years, and is founder of Being Known.  He is a popular speaker, writer, and podcaster, whose literary works include The Anatomy of the Soul, The Soul of Shame, and The Soul of Desire.and want to find a way for their pain to be transformed into hope.  He suggests this takes place within the context of a community of believers, who seek to be the embodied form of Christ.  While Dr. Thompson hopes all will be impacted by the truths discussed in the book, it is likely most helpful for pastors, Christian therapists, and laypersons who are interested in mental health. 

Purpose and Audience:

It is written to help those who are going through (or have gone through) difficulties and want to find a way for their pain to be transformed into hope.  He suggests this takes place within the context of a community of believers, who seek to be the embodied form of Christ.  While Dr. Thompson hopes all will be impacted by the truths discussed in the book, it is likely most helpful for pastors, Christian therapists, and laypersons who are interested in mental health. 

Identification of key themes or ideas:

The book utilizes Romans 5:1-5 as the outline for the book; so, there are clear themes which you will notice through the book. 

• Transformation through suffering: Enduring and processing our suffering can lead to profound personal and spiritual growth.  Though challenging, it is the very catalyst for developing resilience, character and more secure relationships with God and others (Chapter 2).
• Hope as a formation process: Hope is described not as a merely passive feeling that we “hope” to experience, but rather something that is actively formed through our experiences, and is a byproduct of our persevering work through suffering (Chapter 7).
• Embodied Faith: healing does not happen in isolation, but is experienced as a part of a supportive community.  He puts forth the idea of “confessional communities” where individuals can share their stories more fully and receive empathy (Chapter 4). 
• Obstacles to the formation of hope: our formation of hope is not static, but something that we must continually work toward, by giving our attention to it.   As difficult as this may be, it is further compounded by various obstacles that might stand opposed to that pursuit.  Evil, shame, and the world each communicate various messages to stunt our efforts in forming hope.  We must be vigilant and aware of how these things stand opposed to the goal of forming hope (Chapter 8).
• Integration of mind and body: utilizing dynamics of interpersonal neurobiology, and the importance of noticing the things which are sensed, imaged, felt, thought, and embodied around the experiences we share, allows for greater degrees of integration (Chapter 7).

Points of interest and points of personal agreement and disagreement

Points of interest

• I am not new to the work of mental health, but I struggled at times over some of the premises that are presented in the book.  The first of which was the notion that suffering is something to be used in our lives, not something we simply respond to (Introduction).  I had never heard of anyone saying that we should “use” suffering.  As a Christian and pastor, I have commonly expressed the idea that God uses suffering in our lives—this was completely different, even foreign.
• I agree with the idea that healing is something that comes through being authentically known by a group of believers.  I know it requires great vulnerability, and is even risky, as people open up about the worst parts of themselves (chapter 8).  As I read these ideas, I couldn’t help but wonder about the “immoral brother” that is spoken of – by Paul – in some of his other works.  He gives instructions that the church is to “expel the immoral brother”.  An addict who returns to their vice for comfort and soothing doesn’t necessarily do so because they want to, but it’s how they best know to cope and soothe.  Like anyone else in the group, they need the practice of trusting others… and building secure attachment (chapter 7).  But how can they?  And, what about the person who has some secret (abominable) sin?  How do either of those people feel safe opening up about secret struggles, when there is a danger that they will be kicked-out and abandoned?
• While there are multiple outlets for genuine and authentic community, Dr. Thompson talks repeatedly (and almost exclusively) about the confessional communities his organization provides.  Each of his case studies were success stories of individuals who had experienced tremendous growth through the community which they afforded.  If these communities indeed represent the Body of Christ, then why isn’t he going to other churches to train them on how to experience these things?  In this sense, it felt at times that the book was like an infomercial for his community groups, which you have to pay an annual subscription to be part of.

Points of disagreement

• I did not always agree with Dr. Thompson’s interpretation of Scripture.  When he speaks about Adam and Eve and the beginning of the war between man and God, he uses ideas that are not expressed in the Bible.   For instance, he mentioned that God often walked with Adam and Eve in the cool of the day (Chapter 2).  It never says this in Scripture, though.  When God shows up and they hide, he assumes that it is because they are scared due to their shame – and they may have been – but they may have also been startled because God showed up and they weren’t accustomed to it.  In Scripture, God does occasionally manifest himself in the form of a “wind” (see Job, Moses, and Pentecost).  In those accounts, it could likely be described as a violent or scary experience.  Perhaps that is why they were afraid. 
• I also found this to be the case with the main passage for the book’s outline—Romans 5:1-5.  There were times when I was left asking the question, “Did the writers really mean that?”  It felt like Dr. Thompson was using more eisegesis to make the passage support his conclusions, than taking the text at face value.  This doesn’t mean that I disagree with his conclusions; only that I don’t know how confident I am in his interpretation of the scripture.  I still think his insights are needed and hope-giving.

Points I agreed with

• I appreciated the insights Dr. Thompson suggested about faith being more than cognitive assent (Chapter 1).  Too many of our notions about God are just cerebral ideas and not practical or felt realities.  To consider that God never intended for people to experience him in some ethereal or abstract way, but rather, that his intention was that people might experience his felt presence in an embodied form through a group of his followers—that’s powerful.  The fact that God might manifest himself through the eye contact, body language, and empathy of his body.
• It was encouraging to hear stories about people who had to ease themselves into the work they had to do related to their trauma (Chapter 3).  In a sense, they were able to steady themselves and walk into deeper topics on physical, emotional, and cognitive levels.  It may have started with happy memories, and progressed to memories that were only slightly distressing, but then eventually finding they were able to tolerate more difficult topics.
• I have seen first hand how people who have experienced trauma will turn to other idols (addictions) in order to cope with their pain and avoid the necessary work which they need to do to recover from their painful experiences.  I appreciated the way he provided hope for those in that situation, and expressed that facing those difficult things allows them the change to connect with God, with others, and to find lasting hope (Chapter 6).
• My favorite part of the book was in the final chapter where Dr. Thompson ties the whole process together using the story of Jesus and his encounter with the rich young ruler.  He brings some insights that I had never before considered in the story, which very much relate to me and my story.  Until we believe that there is nothing we can do  to earn someone’s love, and that there is nothing required from us to experience that love, we will not experience secure attachment in life (Chapter 9).

Significance of the book to the counseling field:

I feel like this is a great contribution to the Christian counseling community.  This book does a great job reminding readers that healing requires vulnerability expressed in the context of community, to which .  The biggest obstacles to that are shame and fear.  To heal, we must tell our stories more fully to people who can embody the grace, hope, and love for which we all long.  The writer demonstrates how integration occurs as we feel more seen, soothed, safe, and secure in our truest selves.

Critique of the overall work:

As a pastor, I struggled at times with his interpretation of Romans 5:1-5.  I thought he made some great points, and I don’t disagree with the truths and practices that he was encouraging.  In fact, there is plenty of biblical support to argue for those truths, but I felt like he was stretching the text to support some of his conclusions.  I found myself saying often, “Is that really what the writer meant?”  Nevertheless, I thought it did a great job reminding readers about the importance of vulnerable, authentic community.  The case studies about his clients, and the role that IPNB plays in forming more secure attachments and transforming our suffering were immensely beneficial. 

Usefulness of the book for potential clients

This book would serve well as a primer for clients curious about or just getting into formational or confessional community groups.  It highlights the importance of community and the role it plays in transforming suffering into beauty and goodness.  However, it doesn’t get into the mechanics of how these groups are to operate.  It is written from a uniquely Christian perspective and does utilize a passage from the Bible for its outline – Romans 5:1-5.  Because of this, it may not appeal to everyone, but the details related to interpersonal neurobiology are still fascinating and worth reading.